The other day I was talking with some people about friends and it got me to thinking what should a friendship look like, or at least try to look like. I took a read in the Bible, the conversation between God and mankind. It has some interesting things to say, such as, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. a
It seems that in our busy lifestyles we're all in search for sometimes as many friends as we can get to hang out with us and just to be around us. It seems that in that hot pursuit we come up with nothing more than a bunch of acquaintances that we only know by name and job, which we usually end up forgetting that much when it's all said and done with.
Maybe, you've been giving and giving and giving it seems like to those you call friends with what seems like no return of any giving back. It's as if you have thrown the Friendship boomerang and it seems it has gotten caught on the receiving ringer. But again God's conversation with all of us in the Bible says, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. b That one is tough to swallow personally. I really have a hard time with that verse. To lay down my life for the ones that wrong me, ignore me, maybe even deny me when around certain people they know. To act as if I don't exist when all the while they know my name don't they. Could this be what it means to be Christ like? Because in essence that is what ended up happening to Jesus, in fact it went a step further, one of his confidants would betray him that would lead to his death. Death due to the betrayal of a friend, brother or sister. Maybe though, in that death of betrayal we could realize that we weren't alone, that in fact in that moment we were experiencing what our God in the flesh experienced, but isn't good to know or come to know that even death of betrayal couldn't hold him down. He conquered death and we also can conquer that death by offering and giving ourselves to the one who originally took that place and is calling us into something bigger than ourselves, something so great we couldn't ask for it or imagine it.
So as our pursuit of friends and relationships come and go, may we try if we dare to get to a point in our journey of life that we didn't ask who will be my friend, but instead asked the question who can I be a friend to that I could invest my time, energy, talents, gifts, resources, and self into even if it cost me my life.
Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2
A) Proverbs 18:24
B) John 15:13
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Long Time, No Speak
Hello all in the world of the interweb.
I've been away from the web of sorts for sometime now, and have decided to take the plunge again. I'm going to make this short and sweet, then i'll post my newest thoughts, as if you care. So I quit my job and my last day was May 5th, where afterwards I made a trip to LA on 64 Wendy's cups which rocked. I highly vote AirTran as one of my favorite airlines to fly with. Then I took some time and spent it with the family. Well on my return from LA, I hung out with a good friend who let me in on a little something going on in Boiling Springs, NC. It's called the Community Discipleship Home, I applied and a week later was accepted and offered a job to work at Crossroads Summer Camp. He is always faitful, even when I'm faithless. Patient even when i'm impatient. I hope that everyone has a rocking summer and do me just one favor. Put in your favortie music CD, roll down the windows and rock that baby out.
I've been away from the web of sorts for sometime now, and have decided to take the plunge again. I'm going to make this short and sweet, then i'll post my newest thoughts, as if you care. So I quit my job and my last day was May 5th, where afterwards I made a trip to LA on 64 Wendy's cups which rocked. I highly vote AirTran as one of my favorite airlines to fly with. Then I took some time and spent it with the family. Well on my return from LA, I hung out with a good friend who let me in on a little something going on in Boiling Springs, NC. It's called the Community Discipleship Home, I applied and a week later was accepted and offered a job to work at Crossroads Summer Camp. He is always faitful, even when I'm faithless. Patient even when i'm impatient. I hope that everyone has a rocking summer and do me just one favor. Put in your favortie music CD, roll down the windows and rock that baby out.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Trucker Thursday 3
Today is Thursday and that means a big (Air Horn Honk) salute to the Big Rig that Rolls On.
This week I couldn't help but salute two types of trucks.
The Big Rig Salute goes to all of the Columbia Farms Chicken Trucks that i've had the pleasure of being behind, beside, and passing by during my tenyor of work in Greenville. What would I have done without the smell of chicken crap at 5:25am in the morning? Thanks Chicken Trucks. The smell was worth the taste of your delicious fingers and breasts at local eating establishments.
The next Big Rig Salute goes to all of the Moving Trucks that i've had the pleasure of passing on my stretch of I-85 between Greenville and Anderson and vise versa. I pick the Moving Truck for one reason alone, I'm moving on from the world of Radio. You've been great and you taught a lot about people, character, and myself. I'll pack these things up and carry them with me from here til to the end of the day.
Have a great Thursday everyone and feel free to salute your favorite Truck and give the international sign of love, the clinched fist and your right arm in the right angle position going up and down.
This week I couldn't help but salute two types of trucks.
The Big Rig Salute goes to all of the Columbia Farms Chicken Trucks that i've had the pleasure of being behind, beside, and passing by during my tenyor of work in Greenville. What would I have done without the smell of chicken crap at 5:25am in the morning? Thanks Chicken Trucks. The smell was worth the taste of your delicious fingers and breasts at local eating establishments.
The next Big Rig Salute goes to all of the Moving Trucks that i've had the pleasure of passing on my stretch of I-85 between Greenville and Anderson and vise versa. I pick the Moving Truck for one reason alone, I'm moving on from the world of Radio. You've been great and you taught a lot about people, character, and myself. I'll pack these things up and carry them with me from here til to the end of the day.
Have a great Thursday everyone and feel free to salute your favorite Truck and give the international sign of love, the clinched fist and your right arm in the right angle position going up and down.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Whitley Wednesday
Today's quote comes from a nice gentleman from Washington, DC. His name is Mark Batterson. Really hit home with me this week, seeing that fact that I was worried and stressed that God doesn't care about my life, WRONG, He cares more than I'll ever know.
(Drum Roll)
God wants you to get, where God wants you to go;
More than you want to get, where you want to go.
Have a goodin.
(Drum Roll)
God wants you to get, where God wants you to go;
More than you want to get, where you want to go.
Have a goodin.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
MAY Mix
The Mix is in, and I can't believe it.
May Flowers
1. Led Zeppelin - Communication Breakdown
2. Salim Nourallah - 1978
3. Death Cab for Cutie - The Sound of Settling
4. Typhoon - Rolling Credits
5. Audio Adrenaline - Starting Over
6. AJ Croce - Don't Let Me Down
7. Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten
8. Jim Croce - Operator (That's Not the Way It Feels)
9. Ellie Lawson - Gotta Get Up From Here
10. Garth Brooks - Standing Outside The Fire
11. Wilco - Misunderstood
12. The Temptations - I Wish It Would Rain
13. Mountain Heart - Man In The Mirror
14. Bell X1 - Next To You
15. Jake Brennan and the Confidence Men - Believe Me
16. Al Green - Tired of Being Alone
17. Linkin Park - Somewhere I Belong
18. Oasis - The Importance Of Being Idle
19. Hootie & The Blowfish - Goodbye
20. RJD2 - Ghostwriter
21. Ween - I'll Miss You
22. Bright Eyes - Road To Joy
The theme seems to have a departing, moving on and starting over tone with a end of resilience. Good reason for it really, Two weeks ago I quit my job and I have no job that i'm going to. I'm looking for a job and I pray that job will find me and that I will find it. Radio was a beautiful thing for seven years of my life, but now I jump into the unknown and maybe, just maybe, i'll get to encourage and serve people that would make a ripple in there life that would cause ripples in the lives of others. Have an awesome day.
May Flowers
1. Led Zeppelin - Communication Breakdown
2. Salim Nourallah - 1978
3. Death Cab for Cutie - The Sound of Settling
4. Typhoon - Rolling Credits
5. Audio Adrenaline - Starting Over
6. AJ Croce - Don't Let Me Down
7. Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten
8. Jim Croce - Operator (That's Not the Way It Feels)
9. Ellie Lawson - Gotta Get Up From Here
10. Garth Brooks - Standing Outside The Fire
11. Wilco - Misunderstood
12. The Temptations - I Wish It Would Rain
13. Mountain Heart - Man In The Mirror
14. Bell X1 - Next To You
15. Jake Brennan and the Confidence Men - Believe Me
16. Al Green - Tired of Being Alone
17. Linkin Park - Somewhere I Belong
18. Oasis - The Importance Of Being Idle
19. Hootie & The Blowfish - Goodbye
20. RJD2 - Ghostwriter
21. Ween - I'll Miss You
22. Bright Eyes - Road To Joy
The theme seems to have a departing, moving on and starting over tone with a end of resilience. Good reason for it really, Two weeks ago I quit my job and I have no job that i'm going to. I'm looking for a job and I pray that job will find me and that I will find it. Radio was a beautiful thing for seven years of my life, but now I jump into the unknown and maybe, just maybe, i'll get to encourage and serve people that would make a ripple in there life that would cause ripples in the lives of others. Have an awesome day.
You Know You Have A Keeper For A Date When...
I use to call into a morning show for an hour and do some skits, talk about the news and then started a contest, Win A Date With Brent, well needless to say that quickly ended, but not before we came up with a great list of signs you know you have a keeper for a date when... ENJOY!
She has a mesh trucker's hat hanging from her rearview mirror with the playboy bunny icon on it.
She flosses her teeth with ski rope.
She uses her curlers to shape up her beard.
Her greatest ambition is to marry a high school graduate from out of state.
She's waiting for her third husband to get out of prison.
She's waiting for her second husband to get on parole.
She's wearing I love Truckers t-shirt on the first date.
Her idea of dessert is licking the bottom of the cat dish.
All she wants for Christmas is pink ice.
She can't go on a date this weekend because she has the kids.
She needs a toolbox to fix her hair.
Her idea of fun is walking around the mall and standing in the food court.
She asks can I spot her a twenty for gas money because she just bought a carton of Menthol.
You swap chewing tobacco.
Her truck goes further in the mud then yours before getting stuck.
She wants to give me a needle point Kleenex box cover for a white elephant gift.
The nicest appliance in her kitchen is her satellite dish.
She has a nicer deer head hanging on the wall than you do.
Her proudest moment was winning Miss Funnel Cake 1988.
The first thing that she would change about her house if she was on the TLC show "While you were out," would be the shag carpet toilet bowl cover.
Her favorite hobby is chewing Skoal with her Pa Pa.
She can brush her teeth without opening her mouth.
You go to pick her up at her house and she wants to introduce you to her uncle, her brother, and her ex-husband, but there is only one guy standing there.
She has a mesh trucker's hat hanging from her rearview mirror with the playboy bunny icon on it.
She flosses her teeth with ski rope.
She uses her curlers to shape up her beard.
Her greatest ambition is to marry a high school graduate from out of state.
She's waiting for her third husband to get out of prison.
She's waiting for her second husband to get on parole.
She's wearing I love Truckers t-shirt on the first date.
Her idea of dessert is licking the bottom of the cat dish.
All she wants for Christmas is pink ice.
She can't go on a date this weekend because she has the kids.
She needs a toolbox to fix her hair.
Her idea of fun is walking around the mall and standing in the food court.
She asks can I spot her a twenty for gas money because she just bought a carton of Menthol.
You swap chewing tobacco.
Her truck goes further in the mud then yours before getting stuck.
She wants to give me a needle point Kleenex box cover for a white elephant gift.
The nicest appliance in her kitchen is her satellite dish.
She has a nicer deer head hanging on the wall than you do.
Her proudest moment was winning Miss Funnel Cake 1988.
The first thing that she would change about her house if she was on the TLC show "While you were out," would be the shag carpet toilet bowl cover.
Her favorite hobby is chewing Skoal with her Pa Pa.
She can brush her teeth without opening her mouth.
You go to pick her up at her house and she wants to introduce you to her uncle, her brother, and her ex-husband, but there is only one guy standing there.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Trucker Thursday 2
A big shout out to the Yellow UPS 18 wheeler that I got behind this afternoon. Now the two trailers that he was pulling were normal, but the actual truck cab was not its normal brown color, but instead a bright yellow. Today we salute you mister UPS Truck Driver.
Also, another shout out to the individual that used a horseshoe as a hood ornament. It was no Buick, not even a ford, nor was it a Mercedes. It my friends was a Jeep Cherokee with a horseshoe on it as I said before a hood ornament. My hats off to you if you thought you looked cool. I personally was jealous, because of my ever growing redneck side of life.
Have A Goodin'.
Also, another shout out to the individual that used a horseshoe as a hood ornament. It was no Buick, not even a ford, nor was it a Mercedes. It my friends was a Jeep Cherokee with a horseshoe on it as I said before a hood ornament. My hats off to you if you thought you looked cool. I personally was jealous, because of my ever growing redneck side of life.
Have A Goodin'.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Whitley Wednesday's
So this feature is in honor of the Quote Queen herself, Whitley. She love's her quotes, so I have decided to honor her and all three of you readers with Whitley Wednesday's. The best the quote world has to offer. To kick things off we quote the Katharine Hepburn.
"Without discipline, there's no life at all."
This next one is great, simply because I learned this one not to long ago. I mean you've heard of the Enlightment Age, we of course live in the Entitlement Age. Katharine knew this it seems as well.
"We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change."
And now (drum roll) the last quote for Whitley Wednesday's,
"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get - only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything."
"Without discipline, there's no life at all."
This next one is great, simply because I learned this one not to long ago. I mean you've heard of the Enlightment Age, we of course live in the Entitlement Age. Katharine knew this it seems as well.
"We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change."
And now (drum roll) the last quote for Whitley Wednesday's,
"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get - only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything."
School of Higher Learning
I just stumbled across this and I couldn't stop laughing. I did not write this, my Diddy (Joe Hall) did, but I don't think he'll mind if I take some or all of the credit, Ok I kid. Relax Its going to be raining soon.
Hello, if you're miserable can I have your attention for just one moment? Do you hate where you're at in life? Does the idea of getting up and going to work at a dead end job make you ill? Are you ready to start earning big money right now with no risk?
This is Lucious P. Elway, owner and founder of the Elway Home Education and Read Real Good System.
When I was a kid I did not have time for school. I spent the next five years feeling discouraged, going from job to job until I realized I was at a dead end.
Then one day I discovered the secret that changed my life, and spent the next two weeks developing the Elway Read Real Good learning System. Today I can read most anything, and so can you.
For only three payments of $9 ... nine ... ninety ... carry the one ... for only nine dollars I will learn you to read good and also grammar. After one week we guarantee you will be amazed.
Please don't delay. Start learning to read good right now and be a smart new person just like me. Call right now. My momer-n-ems standing by, and there is no charge for calls after 9 pm.
Hello, if you're miserable can I have your attention for just one moment? Do you hate where you're at in life? Does the idea of getting up and going to work at a dead end job make you ill? Are you ready to start earning big money right now with no risk?
This is Lucious P. Elway, owner and founder of the Elway Home Education and Read Real Good System.
When I was a kid I did not have time for school. I spent the next five years feeling discouraged, going from job to job until I realized I was at a dead end.
Then one day I discovered the secret that changed my life, and spent the next two weeks developing the Elway Read Real Good learning System. Today I can read most anything, and so can you.
For only three payments of $9 ... nine ... ninety ... carry the one ... for only nine dollars I will learn you to read good and also grammar. After one week we guarantee you will be amazed.
Please don't delay. Start learning to read good right now and be a smart new person just like me. Call right now. My momer-n-ems standing by, and there is no charge for calls after 9 pm.
LIFETIME
Today was an honest reminder that life can end at any moment, and sometimes when you aren't expecting it. Over the weekend a close friend of mine in the broadcasting community lost his son in a tragic motorcycle accident. There are no words that I can say right now that come close to my feeling when I found out about it this morning. The most shocking thing about it, was his son wasn't to far from my age, he was a young twenty year old with compassion, servanthood, humor, and a life ahead of him. He had plans and much ambition to live a long and prosperous life, probably like most of us dream right now. Unfortunately, his life ended suddenly and tragically this past Friday night. I couldn't make it to the visitation Sunday night, but I was able to attend the graveside services today. As I made my drive to the cemetery, the very cemetery that my grandfather is buried in, It became real clear to me that we are the most blessed people living here in America. We have everything at our disposal, our convenience, and our choosing. I prayed that this family would not only know the spirit of God was on them, but that they could feel the spirit of God on them. I arrived at the graveside, to witness a beautiful memorial to the son who lost his life so young. During that memorial service, stories were told, tears were shed and the good news of a young man who had fallen in love with Jesus, and had accepted Him as his Lord was proclaimed. I was sad and joyful all in the same time. As I hugged the family and tried so desperately to be a presence of God to them, I couldn't help but think, how one day I too will pass on and turn back to dust. How will I live my life during these days and how will I live them to honor and glorify a God, I love so dearly? We don't have a lot of life to waste, but we have a little life to live well. The young man lived his life well, and impacted many who were in attendance today, but how am I living my life, how are you living your life? I thought as I sat to eat lunch this afternoon, I would love the preacher at my funeral to preach the good news of Christ and the redemption in Him, but I would love more if I myself lived in such a way, that my worship to Jesus, in more than just Sunday mornings singing songs, or just merely reading my bible, but in a way that my life's worship in all that I do would be such in a way that to all of those I came in contact with would be encountered by a living God who loves them, and wants them to spend eternity with Him. Who formed them long ago for something unique than the person sitting beside them and set them apart for something extraordinary through them who are so ordinary. Life is short, Life is hard, but Life begins when we die, not just physically, but spiritually die to ourselves and are made new in Christ Jesus, and resurrected in His death and resurrection. And the greatest thing about it is, it doesn't have to be the day before you die, it can be today. May we go to the foot of the cross today and bow before a God so awesome, so loving, so compassionate, so merciful, that it cannot be consumed in merely one sitting or one day. May we go to Him with all of our past, all of our present, and all of our future, and May we offer ourselves to be His friends and to love our neighbors as we love ourselves, and may that be a life well lived to honor and glorify Him.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Realization
I'm becoming more and more aware of the fact that, everyday I'm becoming more and more redneck. I always new that I was country, but now I'm turning towards the side of red. I use to always want to be clean and look my up most best, but now I'm ok with missing a day of bathing or heck wearing dirty clothes or hat with a pig on the back of it. It's either I'm becoming more unnerved by what people think of me or I'm down the path of neckville. In fact I recently wanted to cut the top off my car with a chain saw and make it into a convertible, or today get this, I wanted fuzzy dice. Also, I'm thinking that if I ever by a bass boat and fill that ranger up with water to make it a swimming pool, I better be drinking a PBR or at least a root beer, maybe a diet coke, and wearing cut off blue jeans and wife beater t-shirt. Next thing I know I'll utter the words, "I feel safe in my trailer." If I utter these words please check me into a nutty house or heck take me to a rodeo. I'll have more bizarre redneck experiences soon, I'll just have to get up the courage to release such vital information of my soul.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Sunday School
I recently spoke at my grandmother’s Sunday school class after she came down with the flu and pretty much laid in bed the entire time that she was sick. Needless to say, she wasn't up to teaching, so she asked me if I would. How many people remember Sunday school? Maybe you didn't grow up in church, but I did. I remember it being fun in some aspects; I used to tell the teacher an alternate name when she would ask me what my name was. Mostly, it was long and boring though. The teachers would give me those wretched books with really cheesy pictures of Bible characters that were “supposed” to help you learn about God. Know wonder I would aggravate the teacher when I would enter the classroom. When I used to go to church with my grandmother, she would hand me a torn, weathered dollar bill to put into the manila envelope the treasurer of her class would pass around each week to teach us to tithe, but I also think it was so they could buy those blasted books. Side note: I really think those books have some good material and do help a lot of people, I just really don't like academics and the thought of workbooks frightened me, key word WORK.
So, when she asked me to speak for her class I knew that I was going to have to speak out of one of those rancid books, the books I dread the most. I would rather read Leviticus (which is funny just reading) than to teach out of that book. But, after hearing my grandmother in her weakened tone ask if I would teach for her, I couldn't help but to think of all those times she made me cinnamon butter toast, so I agreed. I took the book home and looked over the lesson. It finally came time to teach the class and I was nervous! I was about to enter a classroom that held the honor of hosting a group of thirty-nine year old ladies that had turned thirty-nine several, several years ago (I say that just in case they read this). These ladies had experience, knowledge, maturity, and blue hair. I felt as though I couldn't possibly teach them anymore about God, Jesus to these well honored ladies. I mean they had the class named after one of the sweet souls that used to grace the teaching duties until she went on to the great Bingo game in the sky. Also, I didn't know what to wear. I hadn't been to this church in quite sometime and I didn't know if your Sunday best was still in mandate. So, I opted for the nice, but casual approach; sports coat and polo shirt with dress pants and the nicest shoes I owned. I figured if they were going to stone me I was at least going to look good while they did it. I arrived way early because I figured if I was going to play the role of my grandmother, Joan, I better go all the way.
As the sweet ladies slowly entered the room they talked at loud levels of volume and expressed time and time again that I was Joan's grandson and her son, Doug's boy. Now when you speak to older ladies and you are a man, you must remember one thing. Ask for permission before you act. For example, if I wanted to remove my sports coat, since I'm the hottest natured person and the thermostat was set for Hades in the classroom, I would need to ask before doing so. In the same respect, I asked before beginning the Sunday school lesson, "God moves hearts to action." The lesson scripture was out of Ezra, which I previously knew nothing about. I'm just being honest. I mean the last time I heard Ezra was when they played that song "Good" by Better than Ezra on the radio four years ago. So, I opted to do the unthinkable and see what happened. I strayed from the lesson book. Gasp if you need to right now. I chose, on the other hand, to speak about another time that God moved someone's heart for action, Elijah on Mount Carmel in 1 Kings 18. You talk about tent revival. This was one that would go down in the Bible, not just the record books. So, Elijah is the only prophet of the LORD left, and God commands him to go to the prophet of Baal's, basically a prayer meeting for prophets of false gods and idols. Obviously there was a little dispute about who’s god was real, so the 450 prophets of Baal got a bull and prepared it for sacrifice by cutting it into pieces and putting it on wood. Elijah did the same to his, but neither lit them on fire. The deal was that the prophets of Baal would call on the name of their god for fire to fall from heaven and Elijah would call on the LORD. The god that was to answer by fire - he was God. It says in verse 26, “The prophets of Baal prayed and shouted, ‘O Baal, answer us!’ But there was no response; no one answered”. Elijah, which you have to love this, began to taunt the prophets of Baal saying that maybe their god was busy, or quite possibly on the toilet. Can you imagine taunting someone about their god going to the bathroom; el baños? I love it. Finally, Elijah told the prophets to come to him. “He took twelve stones, one for each tribe descended from Jacob, to whom the word of the LORD had come to, saying, ‘Your name shall be Israel.’ With the stones he built the alter in the name of the LORD” (18:31-32). Elijah then asked the prophets of Baal to fill jars of water and pour it over the alter not once, but three times, and they did so. Then “Elijah stepped forward and prayed: ‘O LORD, God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. Answer me, O LORD, answer me, so these people will know that you, O Lord, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again" (18: 36b-37). Then, the fire of the LORD fell and burned up the bull, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench. “When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, "The LORD - he is God! The LORD - he is God" (18:30)!
When I was done telling Elijah’s story, I could feel and sense the presence of God in that room, moving in those older, mature, and wiser ladies, and even in myself. Elijah obeyed, made himself a servant of God, and it was amazing what happened as a result. The LORD can work through you to bring glory to Himself in the most unlikely of situations. With the ladies staring at me in front of the marker board, I said, "May we begin to be obedient when we hear His voice in our prayers and may we live a life that would bring glory and honor to God." They looked moved and seemed filled with the Spirit and truth and I began to pray.
You see I noticed a couple of things that morning in that Sunday school experience that I had never noticed before. One, no matter how old or young, you genuinely want truth and love. And second, we all want to feel like we are making a difference; that we have left some sort of impression on another individual’s heart. After all was said and done with the lesson, one lady complimented another on her teaching skills demonstrated within the class. The first lady responded softly, but questioned herself saying, "I sometimes wonder if I'm really doing anything." How many times do you ask yourself a similar question? I know that I do. I was encouraged by the lady’s honesty and her humbleness. I know that as human beings, we are meant for something meaningful and purposeful, just like Elijah. First, we should start by asking ourselves if we are really listening to the voice of God or listening to ourselves. We must be obedient to Him and get under His authority so that we can get over what God has placed under us. By getting under His authority we will always receive God’s blessings, protection, and an authority to accomplish great things in the name of El Shaddai (God Almighty). You may cause God’s Holy fire to penetrate hardened hearts through the power of prayer, or completely change the face of history by an awesome God movement. Regardless, it shall be known The LORD - he is God! The LORD - he is God!
So, when she asked me to speak for her class I knew that I was going to have to speak out of one of those rancid books, the books I dread the most. I would rather read Leviticus (which is funny just reading) than to teach out of that book. But, after hearing my grandmother in her weakened tone ask if I would teach for her, I couldn't help but to think of all those times she made me cinnamon butter toast, so I agreed. I took the book home and looked over the lesson. It finally came time to teach the class and I was nervous! I was about to enter a classroom that held the honor of hosting a group of thirty-nine year old ladies that had turned thirty-nine several, several years ago (I say that just in case they read this). These ladies had experience, knowledge, maturity, and blue hair. I felt as though I couldn't possibly teach them anymore about God, Jesus to these well honored ladies. I mean they had the class named after one of the sweet souls that used to grace the teaching duties until she went on to the great Bingo game in the sky. Also, I didn't know what to wear. I hadn't been to this church in quite sometime and I didn't know if your Sunday best was still in mandate. So, I opted for the nice, but casual approach; sports coat and polo shirt with dress pants and the nicest shoes I owned. I figured if they were going to stone me I was at least going to look good while they did it. I arrived way early because I figured if I was going to play the role of my grandmother, Joan, I better go all the way.
As the sweet ladies slowly entered the room they talked at loud levels of volume and expressed time and time again that I was Joan's grandson and her son, Doug's boy. Now when you speak to older ladies and you are a man, you must remember one thing. Ask for permission before you act. For example, if I wanted to remove my sports coat, since I'm the hottest natured person and the thermostat was set for Hades in the classroom, I would need to ask before doing so. In the same respect, I asked before beginning the Sunday school lesson, "God moves hearts to action." The lesson scripture was out of Ezra, which I previously knew nothing about. I'm just being honest. I mean the last time I heard Ezra was when they played that song "Good" by Better than Ezra on the radio four years ago. So, I opted to do the unthinkable and see what happened. I strayed from the lesson book. Gasp if you need to right now. I chose, on the other hand, to speak about another time that God moved someone's heart for action, Elijah on Mount Carmel in 1 Kings 18. You talk about tent revival. This was one that would go down in the Bible, not just the record books. So, Elijah is the only prophet of the LORD left, and God commands him to go to the prophet of Baal's, basically a prayer meeting for prophets of false gods and idols. Obviously there was a little dispute about who’s god was real, so the 450 prophets of Baal got a bull and prepared it for sacrifice by cutting it into pieces and putting it on wood. Elijah did the same to his, but neither lit them on fire. The deal was that the prophets of Baal would call on the name of their god for fire to fall from heaven and Elijah would call on the LORD. The god that was to answer by fire - he was God. It says in verse 26, “The prophets of Baal prayed and shouted, ‘O Baal, answer us!’ But there was no response; no one answered”. Elijah, which you have to love this, began to taunt the prophets of Baal saying that maybe their god was busy, or quite possibly on the toilet. Can you imagine taunting someone about their god going to the bathroom; el baños? I love it. Finally, Elijah told the prophets to come to him. “He took twelve stones, one for each tribe descended from Jacob, to whom the word of the LORD had come to, saying, ‘Your name shall be Israel.’ With the stones he built the alter in the name of the LORD” (18:31-32). Elijah then asked the prophets of Baal to fill jars of water and pour it over the alter not once, but three times, and they did so. Then “Elijah stepped forward and prayed: ‘O LORD, God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. Answer me, O LORD, answer me, so these people will know that you, O Lord, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again" (18: 36b-37). Then, the fire of the LORD fell and burned up the bull, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench. “When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, "The LORD - he is God! The LORD - he is God" (18:30)!
When I was done telling Elijah’s story, I could feel and sense the presence of God in that room, moving in those older, mature, and wiser ladies, and even in myself. Elijah obeyed, made himself a servant of God, and it was amazing what happened as a result. The LORD can work through you to bring glory to Himself in the most unlikely of situations. With the ladies staring at me in front of the marker board, I said, "May we begin to be obedient when we hear His voice in our prayers and may we live a life that would bring glory and honor to God." They looked moved and seemed filled with the Spirit and truth and I began to pray.
You see I noticed a couple of things that morning in that Sunday school experience that I had never noticed before. One, no matter how old or young, you genuinely want truth and love. And second, we all want to feel like we are making a difference; that we have left some sort of impression on another individual’s heart. After all was said and done with the lesson, one lady complimented another on her teaching skills demonstrated within the class. The first lady responded softly, but questioned herself saying, "I sometimes wonder if I'm really doing anything." How many times do you ask yourself a similar question? I know that I do. I was encouraged by the lady’s honesty and her humbleness. I know that as human beings, we are meant for something meaningful and purposeful, just like Elijah. First, we should start by asking ourselves if we are really listening to the voice of God or listening to ourselves. We must be obedient to Him and get under His authority so that we can get over what God has placed under us. By getting under His authority we will always receive God’s blessings, protection, and an authority to accomplish great things in the name of El Shaddai (God Almighty). You may cause God’s Holy fire to penetrate hardened hearts through the power of prayer, or completely change the face of history by an awesome God movement. Regardless, it shall be known The LORD - he is God! The LORD - he is God!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
TRUCKER THURSDAY
I'm no ACE (Important CB’er) and i'm certainly not an APPLE (A CB
addict), but I really come close to an ALLIGATOR STATION (All mouth and no ears. A
person who likes to talk just to hear himself). I have a fasination with
18 wheelers and did you see that Alligator (Tread from the tire of an 18
wheeler on the road) around mile marker 35 on I-85, if you didn't you
should have. I wanted to bring my brother along, he's an ANKLE BITER
(Small child or annoying teenager), but I love Him. So I used to work
with a APPLIANCE OPERATOR (Non technical person who knows how to turn the
rig on, and that’s about all), and if you want to know who, I won't say,
so don't ask. I do want to tell you though that a couple of months ago I
got into some trouble with a BABY BEAR (Cop in training, or rookie) He
tried to throw his weight around, but heck he had no weight, he probably
only weighed a hundred and ten pounds and thats soaking wet. The reason
for this post though is to salute all of the BIG R's (Trucks running for
Roadway Freight). If it wasn't for these fine fellers we wouldn't receive
half of all goods we do. I hope that I was COMING IN LOUD'N PROUD (Loud
and clear signal) for all who care.
ALL THE GOOD NUMBERS (Best wishes.)
Brent
CLEAR (Final transmission "This is 505 and I’m clear")
addict), but I really come close to an ALLIGATOR STATION (All mouth and no ears. A
person who likes to talk just to hear himself). I have a fasination with
18 wheelers and did you see that Alligator (Tread from the tire of an 18
wheeler on the road) around mile marker 35 on I-85, if you didn't you
should have. I wanted to bring my brother along, he's an ANKLE BITER
(Small child or annoying teenager), but I love Him. So I used to work
with a APPLIANCE OPERATOR (Non technical person who knows how to turn the
rig on, and that’s about all), and if you want to know who, I won't say,
so don't ask. I do want to tell you though that a couple of months ago I
got into some trouble with a BABY BEAR (Cop in training, or rookie) He
tried to throw his weight around, but heck he had no weight, he probably
only weighed a hundred and ten pounds and thats soaking wet. The reason
for this post though is to salute all of the BIG R's (Trucks running for
Roadway Freight). If it wasn't for these fine fellers we wouldn't receive
half of all goods we do. I hope that I was COMING IN LOUD'N PROUD (Loud
and clear signal) for all who care.
ALL THE GOOD NUMBERS (Best wishes.)
Brent
CLEAR (Final transmission "This is 505 and I’m clear")
Pop Culture Question?
Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted... one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?
WOW! Who would of thought that Eminem would challenge me in a way unimaginable, and it could challenge you.
Have a Goodin!
Oh Coming Soon, TRUCKER THURSDAY.
To seize everything you ever wanted... one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?
WOW! Who would of thought that Eminem would challenge me in a way unimaginable, and it could challenge you.
Have a Goodin!
Oh Coming Soon, TRUCKER THURSDAY.
For The Love!
Is it me but are people becoming bad drivers or worse drivers? I mean I have my times that are a little questionable, like a rolling stop here and there, the ever present ten miles per hour over the speed limit, and sometimes the forgetful turn signal, usually though without anyone behind me.
Today though hit a new low and really had me in shock for several minutes. I was driving home from a meeting at Church and I was at an intersection that isn't the best place in the world but not a place that I thought would nearly cause me to go into post traumatic shock. I pulled up to the stop sign and the stop sign somewhat lies in a parking lot of a couple of corner business, therefore leaving the road exposed to the parking lot, no curb or ditch. I hope I painted that well. Needless to say an older lady who looked to be smoking a cigarette or sucking on a lollipop, anyway I'm waiting for traffic to come around a dangerous curve and it seems that it will never end and suddenly I look to my right and this lady pulls up to the side of me. She used the parking of this business as a road, and thought I guess that I had my invisible button on and could not see my beautiful "White Lighting". I wanted to honk my horn, but I figured I would just wait and see what this woman attempted. Dang if she didn't pull out and I pull right behind her and would you know she decided today was drive twenty miles per hour day because that's what that old lady did, she drove twenty miles per hour from that stop sign to the red light about a mile and half up the road. Now there comes a point in your life that you want to quickly pull ahead of her, slam on your brakes, causing her to slam into you, then you proceed to get out of your car and say I didn't see a darn thing, and just possibly if your not careful with your emotions by this point you could slap what appears to be a wig off of her head, leaving her with nothing more than a sucker to enjoy for the remainder of her day. Of course that is just hypothetical and I would never do a such a thing, because I have turned my back on Filth, Vileness and Corruption, but being honest with you today, I thought about it. I'm human to you know. So next time you find yourself in a situation that just seems unbelievable think about those who just dreamed they could live a life of unbelievable, because don't we just waste our life or let it pass us by so many of the times during our day.
Today though hit a new low and really had me in shock for several minutes. I was driving home from a meeting at Church and I was at an intersection that isn't the best place in the world but not a place that I thought would nearly cause me to go into post traumatic shock. I pulled up to the stop sign and the stop sign somewhat lies in a parking lot of a couple of corner business, therefore leaving the road exposed to the parking lot, no curb or ditch. I hope I painted that well. Needless to say an older lady who looked to be smoking a cigarette or sucking on a lollipop, anyway I'm waiting for traffic to come around a dangerous curve and it seems that it will never end and suddenly I look to my right and this lady pulls up to the side of me. She used the parking of this business as a road, and thought I guess that I had my invisible button on and could not see my beautiful "White Lighting". I wanted to honk my horn, but I figured I would just wait and see what this woman attempted. Dang if she didn't pull out and I pull right behind her and would you know she decided today was drive twenty miles per hour day because that's what that old lady did, she drove twenty miles per hour from that stop sign to the red light about a mile and half up the road. Now there comes a point in your life that you want to quickly pull ahead of her, slam on your brakes, causing her to slam into you, then you proceed to get out of your car and say I didn't see a darn thing, and just possibly if your not careful with your emotions by this point you could slap what appears to be a wig off of her head, leaving her with nothing more than a sucker to enjoy for the remainder of her day. Of course that is just hypothetical and I would never do a such a thing, because I have turned my back on Filth, Vileness and Corruption, but being honest with you today, I thought about it. I'm human to you know. So next time you find yourself in a situation that just seems unbelievable think about those who just dreamed they could live a life of unbelievable, because don't we just waste our life or let it pass us by so many of the times during our day.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
The Name Fits
Have you ever been grocery shopping? From the sounds of the shouts at the computer monitor, I'll take that as a yes. Today was a trip to the grocery store. Now I'll be honest with you there are times in my life that I'd rather be on a stage jumping around like a dancing chicken at the county fair with a hot iron under my feet, and today was that day. I like food, in fact I love food. I use to not eat that much, because I didn't want to spend my money on things that wasn't going to last, but now that I've started the Bronzed and Buffed exercise program, I have to eat and eventually tan, but right now will worry about eating.
I spend my days in G-Langeles, and those days become long and boring, so today I thought I would change that. I decided that I would eat and that I would start that process by going to the Grocery Store. Even getting into my car, I frowned at the thought that I would have to soon get out of my car, and by soon I mean soon. I work less than a block from a grocery store. I just don't like the grocery store and that probably explains the reason number 35 exist on my list of features and characteristics I'm looking for in a woman. Number 35 says, "I hope that she likes to go grocery shopping, because I hate it". Brother, I hear that Amen. I finally arrive at the store, not even enough to time to finish singing the chorus to "Since You've Been Gone" I was a little hurt, hadn't heard that song in a while. I walk in and I'm a little intimidated, by the shear massiveness of it all. Isles and isles of food. WOW! I grab the Burgundy basket where the name fits, to begin my shopping experience. Now I have a philosophy on purchasing certain foods, at least for my purpose. I don't need anything that has to be grilled, shucked, baked, or marinated. I need quick, fast, and cheap. I grabbed some gatorade, bread, ham and turkey meat, and some tuna. Now before you go turning your nose up to my tuna, this isn't just any tuna, this is the chicken of the sea. CHICKEN FOLKS! (Bad Jessica Simpson reference.) I was about done with this excursion and then the dilemma ensues. I wanted Peanut Butter because I need protein for my Bronzed and Buff program. I'm looking at the Peanut Butter selections, and confusion strikes. Do I want crunchy or Creamy? Do I want JIF, Peter Pan or off brand? I'm still torn on those decisions even after my purchase. What Would You Do? I need to know.
I made it to the register to check out and then my next dilemma. Now if I was paid less than minimum wage I don't think I would take my job very seriously, but that doesn't mean you have to talk at such a level that I need a miracle ear on top of my good hearing just to hear you ask if I had a "Name Fits Card". Since when did you need a card at every place you go shopping at? How can toilet paper be cheaper with or without a card. Why do I need a card in order to get a deal, why can't you just like the customer enough to heck, give um' a good deal. Something different than the competition. I'm convinced that pretty soon everybody is going to have a card. You go to get your oil changed, they ask do you have your "Dip Stick Card"? You go to get a plunger from the chain hardware store and they ask do you have the "Hook Card"? Pretty soon I'm sure there going to ask if you have a "Death Card" in order to get a great deal on your casket. Moral of all of this I don't think the name fits and if it does, it doesn't fit with my name anywhere near it, especially with a Burgundy basket.
I spend my days in G-Langeles, and those days become long and boring, so today I thought I would change that. I decided that I would eat and that I would start that process by going to the Grocery Store. Even getting into my car, I frowned at the thought that I would have to soon get out of my car, and by soon I mean soon. I work less than a block from a grocery store. I just don't like the grocery store and that probably explains the reason number 35 exist on my list of features and characteristics I'm looking for in a woman. Number 35 says, "I hope that she likes to go grocery shopping, because I hate it". Brother, I hear that Amen. I finally arrive at the store, not even enough to time to finish singing the chorus to "Since You've Been Gone" I was a little hurt, hadn't heard that song in a while. I walk in and I'm a little intimidated, by the shear massiveness of it all. Isles and isles of food. WOW! I grab the Burgundy basket where the name fits, to begin my shopping experience. Now I have a philosophy on purchasing certain foods, at least for my purpose. I don't need anything that has to be grilled, shucked, baked, or marinated. I need quick, fast, and cheap. I grabbed some gatorade, bread, ham and turkey meat, and some tuna. Now before you go turning your nose up to my tuna, this isn't just any tuna, this is the chicken of the sea. CHICKEN FOLKS! (Bad Jessica Simpson reference.) I was about done with this excursion and then the dilemma ensues. I wanted Peanut Butter because I need protein for my Bronzed and Buff program. I'm looking at the Peanut Butter selections, and confusion strikes. Do I want crunchy or Creamy? Do I want JIF, Peter Pan or off brand? I'm still torn on those decisions even after my purchase. What Would You Do? I need to know.
I made it to the register to check out and then my next dilemma. Now if I was paid less than minimum wage I don't think I would take my job very seriously, but that doesn't mean you have to talk at such a level that I need a miracle ear on top of my good hearing just to hear you ask if I had a "Name Fits Card". Since when did you need a card at every place you go shopping at? How can toilet paper be cheaper with or without a card. Why do I need a card in order to get a deal, why can't you just like the customer enough to heck, give um' a good deal. Something different than the competition. I'm convinced that pretty soon everybody is going to have a card. You go to get your oil changed, they ask do you have your "Dip Stick Card"? You go to get a plunger from the chain hardware store and they ask do you have the "Hook Card"? Pretty soon I'm sure there going to ask if you have a "Death Card" in order to get a great deal on your casket. Moral of all of this I don't think the name fits and if it does, it doesn't fit with my name anywhere near it, especially with a Burgundy basket.
Stomach Pirantas?
What exactly is a Stomach Piranta? Where exactly does a Stomach Piranta come from?Upon research of the word Piranta, you find that it doesn't even exist and there is a good explanation as to why it doesn't exist, simply because I didn't know how to say the word Pirana.
Now, if you're like me and probably still unsure as to what a Pirana is, I'll do you a favor and look it up.
Pirana - Any of several tropical American freshwater fishes of the genus Serrasalmus that are voraciously carnivorous and often attack and destroy living animals. Also called caribe.
Now that we have the education of what a Pirana is and what it does to living animals you will understand more as to why I called a vicous attack of my insides, Stomach Pirantas. This past Friday was a glorious day with sun, wind, and beautiful blue skies. It was one of those days that you just wanted to quit your job (heck that could be everyday for some, why do you think this blog exist) and sit out on the back porch with a cup of sweet tea and not have a care in the world to stop and worry over. With a day like that it calls for a night to match. Some friends and I took the trip to downtown Greenville, which for this story will refer to it as G-Jungle. All of us made it to downtown G-Jungle enjoying a hearty, filling, and tasteful meal at an unnamed establishment just so your not afraid to eat there after this story. I had an awesome Greek Salad which I had experienced to many times to count and the others in the group had a pleasurable meal as well. After dinner and many stories about girls I liked in Middle School we decided to take a stroll to a local coffee shop. Now upon this journey to this local coffee shop in G-Jungle we crossed the Reedy River of downtown G-Jungle. At that moment, and I'm not making this up, I began to feel as if something was taking me over. It's like when your driving down the road and you hear a popping noise, such as a tire blowing out on you, well I don't know if you've ever had that happen to you, but I have. It's not a great feeling, because it's as if the tire and the car get taken over by the enormous amount of asphalt that makes up the interstate and you become as helpless as a male praying mantis during mating season. So we cross the bridge and I feel as now my stomach has been taken over by Mary Lou Retton on an Olympic Gold Medalist Reunion tour. There are all kind of cartwheels, kicks and frontward jumps going on inside that stomach of yours, with artillery, such as fetta cheese, green lettuce, onions, and other forms of goodness from the ground, what I'm saying is 'All Natur-ale foods.
It's then that you begin to panic, such as you do, like you did when you were in Middle School and you found out that for lunch, Gertrude is serving beans, which is great, the only problem is you have gym next block. My friends and I are laughing and cutting up as if nothing is wrong, all the while I'm hoping to find safety but, unfortunately safety lies only in the form of a Public Restroom. The dreaded Public Restroom. What is it about a Public Restroom that suddenly all your thoughts of I don't care what the world thinks of me suddenly changes into, Oh Gosh what will they think of me. First of all have you seen some of these facilities, I wouldn't even let my dog go into these places (if I had a dog). Second, Public Restroom also stands for PR, which some of these places need to work on by using some Public Relations to better there facilities. I quickly spot a respectable location that would be closer and less likely room for error. I was shot down. We move forward all the while I'm hoping that Mary Lou Retton would finish her routine that she started an hour ago, when it really has been five minutes ago. We finally get to the local coffee shop, when then I spot three people I know. My word not only am I being attacked by a short twenty four year old performing hand springs in my stomach, but now I've gotten the call to rush by people I know and respect, trying to make nice and dash to the Public Restroom to unleash wrath and gold medalist alike from within my body.
I make it past without any problems and get to my least desired destination. I make the room as sanitary as a person with lye, bleach, and a pressure washer can and I take care of the problem at hand. Then what seems like a never-ending story another two or three problems come to my attention. The first two were minor problems one of the first two problems wore a white t-shirt and the second of the first two problems wore Hawaiian shirt, great visitors to make life even more interesting for the reunion tour I was finally trying to put away forever. The two problems exited the Public Restroom and the third problem was noticed upon the flushing of what I will call, The Medal Ceremony. I would like to take this moment to publicly let the Public Restroom Committee know, if there is one. You may want to check the pressure of that flush in stall number one in the underground bunker of a popular coffee hangout in G-Jungle, I mean one flush standard, second flush courtesy, but the third flush is just foul. I exit the room, only after I wash my hands and pray that Mary and her gang are gone. I enter the main room of the popular hangout to sit with my friends with a look on my face of pure exhaustion. I explained in brief that I was attacked by Stomach Pirantas. Stomach Piranas would be fish, but Stomach Pirantas is nothing more the foul little gang of gymnast that landed in my stomach. At that moment laughter erupted and it was at that moment that I realized Mary Lou Retton had returned in a new form of what will be known as "Laughing Celebration".
*QUICK UPDATE*
A health specialist just informed of this shocking fact. The stomach situation you experienced is a result to being allergic to the artificial preservatives on the lettuce of the salad you had. It actually makes your stomach "Cramp -so to speak- and instead of the usual 24 hr. period it takes for food to flush through your colon it now takes 15-20 minutes, tops. Unfortunately you never know when and where, and what salads will have that preservative.
You know I think that there is a life lesson in that fact somewhere. I'm going to risk it and i'm not going to stop eating lettuce.
Now, if you're like me and probably still unsure as to what a Pirana is, I'll do you a favor and look it up.
Pirana - Any of several tropical American freshwater fishes of the genus Serrasalmus that are voraciously carnivorous and often attack and destroy living animals. Also called caribe.
Now that we have the education of what a Pirana is and what it does to living animals you will understand more as to why I called a vicous attack of my insides, Stomach Pirantas. This past Friday was a glorious day with sun, wind, and beautiful blue skies. It was one of those days that you just wanted to quit your job (heck that could be everyday for some, why do you think this blog exist) and sit out on the back porch with a cup of sweet tea and not have a care in the world to stop and worry over. With a day like that it calls for a night to match. Some friends and I took the trip to downtown Greenville, which for this story will refer to it as G-Jungle. All of us made it to downtown G-Jungle enjoying a hearty, filling, and tasteful meal at an unnamed establishment just so your not afraid to eat there after this story. I had an awesome Greek Salad which I had experienced to many times to count and the others in the group had a pleasurable meal as well. After dinner and many stories about girls I liked in Middle School we decided to take a stroll to a local coffee shop. Now upon this journey to this local coffee shop in G-Jungle we crossed the Reedy River of downtown G-Jungle. At that moment, and I'm not making this up, I began to feel as if something was taking me over. It's like when your driving down the road and you hear a popping noise, such as a tire blowing out on you, well I don't know if you've ever had that happen to you, but I have. It's not a great feeling, because it's as if the tire and the car get taken over by the enormous amount of asphalt that makes up the interstate and you become as helpless as a male praying mantis during mating season. So we cross the bridge and I feel as now my stomach has been taken over by Mary Lou Retton on an Olympic Gold Medalist Reunion tour. There are all kind of cartwheels, kicks and frontward jumps going on inside that stomach of yours, with artillery, such as fetta cheese, green lettuce, onions, and other forms of goodness from the ground, what I'm saying is 'All Natur-ale foods.
It's then that you begin to panic, such as you do, like you did when you were in Middle School and you found out that for lunch, Gertrude is serving beans, which is great, the only problem is you have gym next block. My friends and I are laughing and cutting up as if nothing is wrong, all the while I'm hoping to find safety but, unfortunately safety lies only in the form of a Public Restroom. The dreaded Public Restroom. What is it about a Public Restroom that suddenly all your thoughts of I don't care what the world thinks of me suddenly changes into, Oh Gosh what will they think of me. First of all have you seen some of these facilities, I wouldn't even let my dog go into these places (if I had a dog). Second, Public Restroom also stands for PR, which some of these places need to work on by using some Public Relations to better there facilities. I quickly spot a respectable location that would be closer and less likely room for error. I was shot down. We move forward all the while I'm hoping that Mary Lou Retton would finish her routine that she started an hour ago, when it really has been five minutes ago. We finally get to the local coffee shop, when then I spot three people I know. My word not only am I being attacked by a short twenty four year old performing hand springs in my stomach, but now I've gotten the call to rush by people I know and respect, trying to make nice and dash to the Public Restroom to unleash wrath and gold medalist alike from within my body.
I make it past without any problems and get to my least desired destination. I make the room as sanitary as a person with lye, bleach, and a pressure washer can and I take care of the problem at hand. Then what seems like a never-ending story another two or three problems come to my attention. The first two were minor problems one of the first two problems wore a white t-shirt and the second of the first two problems wore Hawaiian shirt, great visitors to make life even more interesting for the reunion tour I was finally trying to put away forever. The two problems exited the Public Restroom and the third problem was noticed upon the flushing of what I will call, The Medal Ceremony. I would like to take this moment to publicly let the Public Restroom Committee know, if there is one. You may want to check the pressure of that flush in stall number one in the underground bunker of a popular coffee hangout in G-Jungle, I mean one flush standard, second flush courtesy, but the third flush is just foul. I exit the room, only after I wash my hands and pray that Mary and her gang are gone. I enter the main room of the popular hangout to sit with my friends with a look on my face of pure exhaustion. I explained in brief that I was attacked by Stomach Pirantas. Stomach Piranas would be fish, but Stomach Pirantas is nothing more the foul little gang of gymnast that landed in my stomach. At that moment laughter erupted and it was at that moment that I realized Mary Lou Retton had returned in a new form of what will be known as "Laughing Celebration".
*QUICK UPDATE*
A health specialist just informed of this shocking fact. The stomach situation you experienced is a result to being allergic to the artificial preservatives on the lettuce of the salad you had. It actually makes your stomach "Cramp -so to speak- and instead of the usual 24 hr. period it takes for food to flush through your colon it now takes 15-20 minutes, tops. Unfortunately you never know when and where, and what salads will have that preservative.
You know I think that there is a life lesson in that fact somewhere. I'm going to risk it and i'm not going to stop eating lettuce.
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